WHEN THE AXE FALLS 1: this writer-turned fugitive’s harrowing duel with death

The towers took me down hard and fast - but at first i didn’t know what it was, til suddenly there they were, right across the street from my home. This all happened in the last 3 weeks or so.
In my brain damaged delirium i’ve lost all track of time.

(#1, stealth deployment literally across the street from us one day - SURPRISE!)

(#2, cached halfway down the lane, across the street, behind #1)

If you read my stack, you know i’m forever looking up to see what new evils have been deployed - except when i’m looking down at this page to update you.

Well, i’ve been looking neither up, nor down, since that frightful day 3 weeks ago when i could no longer stand up in my own home.
i’ve been curled sideways in a ball, holding my head and heart.

For some time, my strength was waning and i felt like i was being electrocuted by machine guns 24/7 - or living attached to a medical defibrillator machine stuck ON. This went on for a long time before i saw the towers, and it made no sense.

But it certainly escalated markedly after the December frequency attacks to my left ear - along with the racing heart and a grinding, gnawing sense of dread; lockjaw, and clenching spasms in my neck and head. Literally everything hurt, but my vital organs screamed all the more…

i live the most conscientious and healthy REGENERATIVE life. i hike the forest trails. But the chronic bursts of palpitations i was living with (it always felt like they shot right through my heart) turned instantly one day to machine gun fire and a heart rate of 150-200 beats per minute, and i simply could not bring it down. i was seriously dizzy, nauseous, and unable to breathe; and i had the absolute worst headache of my life, especially on the left side. When i tried lying flat on the floor to ground to catch my breath, the floor rippled with hot sparking waves of electrical currents that pounded painfully against my back.
i pulled my emf meters out, and lo and behold, my house was a ballistic missle brigade! But wait, i just invested heavily in remediation just last year, and now THIS…

(These three links explain the heart stuff for you in medicalese:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ventricular_fibrillation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arrhythmia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ventricular_tachycardia )

There’s a physiological anxiety that takes over when your survival nervous system bursts into alarm - with no reference to any emotional event.
Well-meaning people just shrugged it off and told me to ground. i knew then who was NOT on my team. Instead of help or compassion, they offered only blame.

(NB: DO NOT ever treat someone in trauma or medical emergency like this! Heed these words - for few others are as unrelentingly strong as me - and your thoughtlessness can speed them to a hasty demise, or at best cause permanent brain damage as it compounds their sense of danger and pushes trauma deep into their cells)

THEN THE GASSING

i only bought my house a year and a half ago, and since then have poured all my love in, to make it really right. After my Let there Be Pink excursion in December, where to soothe my heart, i painted the two bedrooms and two other walls all by myself, i hired a contractor to finish the ceilings in back, and paint the master bathroom lavender - all non-toxic paint of course - and the colors were sublime. i had live meetings with the contractor, emphasized chemical sensitivity multiple times. i planned to go to a hotel for the flooring job (certain to be smelly and loud), and that would have occurred this week - in fact the floor man is there right now…

When good ol’ smiling Chad the painter showed up two weeks ago (that would have been January 24, but again, i’ve lost all track of time), i set him up, and went to find a low trench at the senior park property where our homes are; seeking a spot where i might safely write something cool and informative for you. Restless with my racing heart and struggles to breathe, i went back home - to enter the most pungent toxic poison ever, perfusing every single room.

My body immediately went into clinical shock. Poison pierces the blood-brain barrier; i was already compromised by the towers; then remembering the bunnies who were stomping loudly in their hutch, i flew into high adrenaline to save their little lives. Into their carry bags, into the back seat of my car, and screaming “It’s poison! You’ve poisoned us!” i ran, back and forth desperately trying to think what bunnies need to move into a hotel. You see, my brain was already dying, and all cognitive function was gone…it was the sheer impulse to save us that shot me straight to this hotel…where two weeks and $2000 later, we are still here. We can’t go back. We will sell the house.

NOW IT GETS REALLY GOOD, BECAUSE I AM ORDAINED TO TEACH YOU WHAT HAPPENS IN TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY, AND HOW TO SAVE A LIFE…

Brain injury and trauma are clinical specialties of me. Ironic as it is, i was now the person in trouble - and i had to be the clinician too. My friends C and M showed up for me - and confused as they were, they trusted me to guide them to what i needed to save my life. But one can only lean so much, and i’ve handled many other medical emergencies already for myself…but none like this, where i had to kneel and beg people to help me save my life…
(yes, i have much to tell…in good time, cuz medicne and physiology go really deep!)

Still, in our final hour, it’s between us and the big guy in the sky. My head and body are pounding now, as this is my first day up, able to touch this computer after keeping it locked up for two weeks. So here’s what i leave you with today:

IN A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, KEEP YOUR GROUNDING CORD FIRMLY TETHERED TO THE GOD OF YOUR HEART - WHOEVER THAT MAY BE FOR YOU.

i guarantee you that otherwise, you will likely not survive.

FAITH IS STRONGER THAN FEAR - BUT ONLY IF YOU HOLD IT PRECIOUS AND TIGHT.

KEEP YOUR HEART AND SPIRITUAL EYE TUNED POWERFULLY TO THE LIGHT.

much more to come. i need to lie down. this has been quite an ordeal, and my physical body is barely up and thoroughly wiped…
you know i’ll be back. these are much too important times. til then…pray for me…and my new cottage in the forest to appear…